word game

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Author Message Dale McLain Advanced Member Username: sparklingseas Post Number: 1764 Registered: 11-2004 Posted on Wednesday, February 01, 2006 - 11:34 am:    Take a word, a name, a phrase and empty it of all meaning. Just listen… concertina wire, hemorrhage, Adolph Hitler, despair. How the sounds whisper and swirl, trickle and sigh. I hear you like that sometimes, your voice rustling in the sheets. I close my eyes and listen to the cadence of contempt- selfish, guilty, careless, wife. Teresa White Intermediate Member Username: teresa_white Post Number: 544 Registered: 01-2005 Posted on Wednesday, February 01, 2006 - 12:26 pm:    Dale, This one really got to me. The words you chose to italicize here work very well. A poem about a marriage gone wrong? I love the way you end this one! Perfect! My best, Teresa Gary Blankenship Senior Member Username: garyb Post Number: 6531 Registered: 07-2001 Posted on Wednesday, February 01, 2006 - 5:17 pm:    selfish, guilty, careless, wife. Dale, another fine work. You and T might be on the short list again. Smiles. Gary A River Transformed The Dawg House December Fireweed Emusing Moderator Username: emusing Post Number: 2681 Registered: 08-2003 Posted on Thursday, February 02, 2006 - 2:39 am:    Maybe sans "Adolf" but it works all the same. Powerful. E Zephyr Senior Member Username: zephyr Post Number: 3788 Registered: 07-2003 Posted on Thursday, February 02, 2006 - 10:31 am:    Excellent poem, though the end made me feel sorry for the wife. Dale McLain Advanced Member Username: sparklingseas Post Number: 1783 Registered: 11-2004 Posted on Monday, February 06, 2006 - 7:06 am:    Thank you all for your comments. I appreciate them very much. take care~dale Sis Moderator Username: djclowes Post Number: 257 Registered: 11-1998 Posted on Monday, February 06, 2006 - 12:55 pm:    A gem, Dale. A painful one but a gem none the less. Sis Dale McLain Advanced Member Username: sparklingseas Post Number: 1787 Registered: 11-2004 Posted on Tuesday, February 07, 2006 - 8:42 am:    Thank you, Sis. I really appreciate the nod. take care~dale Laurie Byro Advanced Member Username: lauriette Post Number: 1512 Registered: 11-2003 Posted on Thursday, February 09, 2006 - 2:52 pm:    I like this very much an awful lot. I wonder if the last line is too easy, too predictable. You might work on that list and make it more subversive ? peace and congrats on the HM laurie Dale McLain Advanced Member Username: sparklingseas Post Number: 1822 Registered: 11-2004 Posted on Monday, February 13, 2006 - 9:09 am:    Laurie~ Hey~ just saw this post... I see your point, but I think I'll stay with these words... written as spoken. peace back to you. take care~dale

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